Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.
Every day, I feel us getting closer to another life, another galaxy, another something.
Earlier Tuesday, I wrote about Florida Republican congressional candidate Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera, whoshe was abducted by aliens at a very early age.
And now along comes Billy Corgan, he of the Smashing Pumpkins, with the tale of how a human he was talking to transformed himself into, well, something else.
Appearing on the Howard Stern Show on Monday, Corgan — who now prefers to be called William Patrick Corgan — insisted that humans can be bent out of shape. Physically, that is.
“Let’s just say I was with somebody once and I saw a transformation I can’t explain,” he revealed, somewhat gingerly.
“The person transformed into something other than human,” prompted a naturally curious Stern.
“Yes,” Corgan said. “I saw it.”
He claims to have been sober. How odd, though, that he didn’t do what many a modern human would have done and whipped out his cellphone to record the event.
Perhaps it was the shock of it all.
“Imagine you’re doing something and suddenly you turn around and there’s somebody else standing there,” he said.
When pressed whether this person had turned into another human, Corgan demurred and explained that it was “hard to explain without going into detail.”
He insisted, though, that the other person “acknowledged” what had happened. Oddly, though, that person apparently wouldn’t explain.
Corgan must have lived a very interesting life, as he described it as “up there with one of the most intense things I’ve ever been through.”
Only up there? If I’d seen, say, Kurshina my Starbucks barista turn into, say, an orchid, that would certainly be the most extraordinary thing I’ve ever seen.
And I’ve seen things you would neither believe nor even want to know about.
We’re left, then, to speculate what this human turned himself into. A cloud? A speck of dust? A gorgon reciting the works of Emile Zola?
Please, Mr. Corgan. Give us more of a clue. Perhaps write a song about it or give us an artist’s impression.
Or at least go talk to some scientists and tell them what you saw. These might be the aliens that Stephen Hawking.